Tag Archives: doubt

done-ing

Posted on February 14, 2022 by C. M. Condo

*this post contains profanity I’m doing trauma work with my therapist, starting with an event in my childhood that I’d only recently started calling a trauma, even though I remember it clear as day despite it having occurred when I … Continue reading →

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Crash the lab

Posted on October 10, 2021 by C. M. Condo

Three semesters of grad school via Zoom have wrecked me. Class discussions and impromptu tangents are the fun part of grad school. They balance out the herculean and thankless labor one must otherwise expend reading gross amounts of peer-reviewed literature and pulling together a research project that will culminate in a thesis or dissertation, otherwise known as the longest and most harrowing paper you will ever write in your entire life. Continue reading →

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not like this

Posted on April 20, 2020 by C. M. Condo

Photo by Laurent Perren on Unsplash This is not what I wanted. High-functioning autistics like me who live alone and work from home fight a constant battle against expected levels of socialization. We have to self-limit because of how exhausting … Continue reading →

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that look

Posted on March 2, 2020 by C. M. Condo

If you’re autistic, you know exactly the look I’m talking about. It’s the one you get from a neurotypical person when you step outside the prescribed boundaries for casual interaction. You’ll be going along hiding your autism well enough and … Continue reading →

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handle

Posted on September 5, 2018 by C. M. Condo

I am back in graduate school once again, this time in a writing program as opposed to a science-based (or rather, laboratory bench-based) program. During the first class last week, the professor warned us, as if I needed the warning, … Continue reading →

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supposed

Posted on March 4, 2018 by C. M. Condo

I have run out of energy. Again. Just like I did this time last year when they changed my schedule and switched my days off. Except – I don’t have that excuse this time. But I called out of work … Continue reading →

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effortless

Posted on June 24, 2017 by C. M. Condo

“Do you think maybe the reason people don’t respond to you is how you talk to them?” I’m doing a really good job of controlling myself right now. I’m sitting with one of my supervisors (my department has two of … Continue reading →

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wilderness

Posted on March 16, 2017 by C. M. Condo

“Carpal tunnel” What? “There is nothing wrong with your ulnar nerve.” The neurologist spoke in the soft, mixed British-Asian accent of highly educated students from that part of the world. “It is all median nerve. Carpal tunnel.” Never mind that … Continue reading →

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not so small

Posted on January 22, 2017 by C. M. Condo

“Trace the exact path of your pain for me.” I sit on a padded exam table facing the neurologist, having passed the slew of tests to determine if the pain and numbness in my hands is due to something in … Continue reading →

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surgereve

Posted on December 29, 2015 by C. M. Condo

Despite still being exhausted after the most challenging semester of school of my entire life, which now encompasses a full ten years total of post-secondary education, the day before my second surgery I was buzzing around like a four-year-old on … Continue reading →

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