Tag Archives: doubt

surgereve

Despite still being exhausted after the most challenging semester of school of my entire life, which now encompasses a full ten years total of post-secondary education, the day before my second surgery I was buzzing around like a four-year-old on … Continue reading

Posted in Aspect IV | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

not my fault

As I read more and more about my autism (for new folks, I was recently diagnosed with Asperger’s, an Autism Spectrum Disorder or ASD), I am, for the first time in my life, seeing my life experiences clearly. All of … Continue reading

Posted in Aspect I | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Chariot

If it’s easy, then it’s the right thing. If it’s hard, then it’s the right thing. What is the right thing to do? It feels like it should be a simple question; a binary question, no less. Some things are … Continue reading

Posted in Aspect III | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

excepting expectation

Last week’s pain crisis is now behind me. I’m still quite run down, and unable to do much which either arm, but pain is no longer crowding out concrete thought. Yesterday, the surgeon examined both of my shoulders and affirmed … Continue reading

Posted in Aspect III | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

apprehend

apprehension |ˌapriˈhenSHən| noun 1 anxiety or fear that something bad or unpleasant will happen: he felt sick with apprehension | she had some apprehensions about the filming. 2 understanding; grasp: the pure apprehension of the work of art. 3 the … Continue reading

Posted in Aspect III | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

and for how long

The pain is no better. I won’t say that it is worse. It may be, but I don’t want to go there. At the behest of my physical therapist, I contacted the head researcher of my lab to let him … Continue reading

Posted in Aspect III | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

how much, how little

Two days ago, my pain hit the highest spike since before the surgery.  It was no better yesterday, and because of it, for the first time since the surgery, I had to change my plans so I could go home and rest. … Continue reading

Posted in Aspect III | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

can’t and don’t

I’m not going to sugarcoat it for you. It is what everyone says it is. If you want to know how to maintain a work-life balance, I have to tell you, it’s impossible. What I would say is you should … Continue reading

Posted in Aspect III | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

collateral damage

I haven’t wanted to write this post. I haven’t even wanted to start this post. My head is a mess. It was so thick with pain, with foreboding, with the fear that I would sink ever deeper into the morass … Continue reading

Posted in Aspect III | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

unsettling

I’m officially, completely unpacked. All boxes have been emptied, everything I’ve decided to keep has found a home, either here or in my storage unit, pictures are hung, and box cutters, tape, markers and tool kits are finally put away. … Continue reading

Posted in Aspect II | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment