Tag Archives: anger


Filip Kominik Don’t expect people to remember you have autism or realize what it entails. Most people, even those you might consider colleagues or professionals who received an advanced education in an area like psychology or social work, will have … Continue reading

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not so small

“Trace the exact path of your pain for me.” I sit on a padded exam table facing the neurologist, having passed the slew of tests to determine if the pain and numbness in my hands is due to something in … Continue reading

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not my fault

As I read more and more about my autism (for new folks, I was recently diagnosed with Asperger’s, an Autism Spectrum Disorder or ASD), I am, for the first time in my life, seeing my life experiences clearly. All of … Continue reading

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apprehension |ˌapriˈhenSHən| noun 1 anxiety or fear that something bad or unpleasant will happen: he felt sick with apprehension | she had some apprehensions about the filming. 2 understanding; grasp: the pure apprehension of the work of art. 3 the … Continue reading

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and for how long

The pain is no better. I won’t say that it is worse. It may be, but I don’t want to go there. At the behest of my physical therapist, I contacted the head researcher of my lab to let him … Continue reading

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come to rest

Even before this happened, I was a reluctant inhabitant of my physical body. I railed against its inevitable (if as yet largely imperceptible) decline, the stealthy, inexorable loss of elasticity, pigment, resilience, strength. It felt like punishment, to house a … Continue reading

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not done

It hasn’t been a good week. The tidal surge of adrenaline borne out of the pure joy at being released from constant, immobilizing pain has receded. I have come back down to earth to find my shoulder still heavily damaged and disturbingly weak. … Continue reading

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So according to my therapist, I am still angry, I am still fighting giving up my autonomy, and I need to redefine the God in which I believe, since the one that I used to believe in doesn’t jibe with … Continue reading

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I had forgotten how exhausting it is to function through pain. In particular, I had forgotten how mental exhaustion begets physical exhaustion. After this week, consider me reminded. It has been six weeks since the semester began. The first two … Continue reading

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waking up

“It’s called… village, or something like that. I know they have one near you. Here, I’ll find it.” My tireless, life-changing-injury mentor picked up her smartphone and started searching. “Here it is; there’s one right in the community center.” She … Continue reading

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