Tag Archives: anger

don’t drink the water

About a month ago, I became very sick Friday night after work and remained so up until the following Monday. I discovered that a smattering of other people in my department also had severe bouts of nausea for a day … Continue reading

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not so small

“Trace the exact path of your pain for me.” I sit on a padded exam table facing the neurologist, having passed the slew of tests to determine if the pain and numbness in my hands is due to something in … Continue reading

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not my fault

As I read more and more about my autism (for new folks, I was recently diagnosed with Asperger’s, an Autism Spectrum Disorder or ASD), I am, for the first time in my life, seeing my life experiences clearly. All of … Continue reading

Posted in Aspect I | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

apprehend

apprehension |ˌapriˈhenSHən| noun 1 anxiety or fear that something bad or unpleasant will happen: he felt sick with apprehension | she had some apprehensions about the filming. 2 understanding; grasp: the pure apprehension of the work of art. 3 the … Continue reading

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and for how long

The pain is no better. I won’t say that it is worse. It may be, but I don’t want to go there. At the behest of my physical therapist, I contacted the head researcher of my lab to let him … Continue reading

Posted in Aspect III | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

come to rest

Even before this happened, I was a reluctant inhabitant of my physical body. I railed against its inevitable (if as yet largely imperceptible) decline, the stealthy, inexorable loss of elasticity, pigment, resilience, strength. It felt like punishment, to house a … Continue reading

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not done

It hasn’t been a good week. The tidal surge of adrenaline borne out of the pure joy at being released from constant, immobilizing pain has receded. I have come back down to earth to find my shoulder still heavily damaged and disturbingly weak. … Continue reading

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orphaned

So according to my therapist, I am still angry, I am still fighting giving up my autonomy, and I need to redefine the God in which I believe, since the one that I used to believe in doesn’t jibe with … Continue reading

Posted in Aspect II | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

limited

I had forgotten how exhausting it is to function through pain. In particular, I had forgotten how mental exhaustion begets physical exhaustion. After this week, consider me reminded. It has been six weeks since the semester began. The first two … Continue reading

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waking up

“It’s called… village, or something like that. I know they have one near you. Here, I’ll find it.” My tireless, life-changing-injury mentor picked up her smartphone and started searching. “Here it is; there’s one right in the community center.” She … Continue reading

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