search
- Follow this great ape on WordPress.com
most read
follow the ape on Twitter
My TweetsSections
tags
- #YesAllWomen
- ableism
- actuallyautistic
- anger
- answers
- anxiety
- appearance
- ASD
- Asperger
- Aspergers
- autism
- autistic
- autistic woman
- autisticwomen
- BlackLivesMatter
- Buddhism
- busyness
- chronic pain
- confusion
- coping
- depression
- disability
- doubt
- effort
- emotional reaction
- empathy
- faith
- fear
- friend
- frustration
- futility
- god
- good intentions
- graduate student
- guilt
- healing
- health insurance
- holiday
- hope
- humor
- inner monologue
- insomnia
- invisible disability
- judgmental
- learning
- life change
- loneliness
- luck
- masking
- massage therapy
- media
- misinformation
- nerve ablation
- nerve pain
- neurodivergent
- neurotypical
- normal
- ordeal
- orthopedist
- pain
- personal crisis
- pharmacy
- physical therapy
- rage
- self care
- self loathing
- self love
- sexism
- specialist
- stereotype
- suffering
- surgery
- systemic racism
- vacation
- work
archives
- February 2022
- November 2021
- October 2021
- July 2021
- May 2021
- April 2021
- March 2021
- February 2021
- January 2021
- December 2020
- November 2020
- September 2020
- August 2020
- July 2020
- June 2020
- May 2020
- April 2020
- March 2020
- February 2020
- January 2020
- August 2019
- April 2019
- March 2019
- February 2019
- January 2019
- December 2018
- October 2018
- September 2018
- July 2018
- May 2018
- April 2018
- March 2018
- January 2018
- July 2017
- June 2017
- April 2017
- March 2017
- January 2017
- February 2016
- January 2016
- December 2015
- June 2015
- May 2015
- April 2015
- March 2015
- February 2015
- January 2015
- December 2014
- November 2014
- October 2014
- September 2014
- August 2014
- July 2014
- June 2014
- May 2014
- April 2014
- March 2014
Category Archives: Book Two – Mind
done-ing
*this post contains profanity I’m doing trauma work with my therapist, starting with an event in my childhood that I’d only recently started calling a trauma, even though I remember it clear as day despite it having occurred when I … Continue reading
Posted in Book Two - Mind, Setting 4
Tagged anger, Aspergers, autism, chronic pain, doubt
4 Comments
you
You. Yes, you. I am talking about you. You can’t be surprised I am talking about you, since it’s always all about you, anyway. As long as you feel good, as long as you get what you want when you … Continue reading
Crash the lab
Three semesters of grad school via Zoom have wrecked me. Class discussions and impromptu tangents are the fun part of grad school. They balance out the herculean and thankless labor one must otherwise expend reading gross amounts of peer-reviewed literature and pulling together a research project that will culminate in a thesis or dissertation, otherwise known as the longest and most harrowing paper you will ever write in your entire life. Continue reading
Posted in Book Two - Mind, Setting 4
Tagged actuallyautistic, Aspergers, autism, autistic woman, burnout, disability, doubt
1 Comment
Musk-rat
“the last thing the autism community needs another example of a white male autistic who fits the vanishingly rare stereotype of the super-genius misanthrope” Continue reading
Posted in Setting 3
Tagged ableism, actuallyautistic, autistic, Elon Musk, invisible disability, stereotype
4 Comments
get past
Fear is what makes you careful. Fear is what keeps you from being alone with strange men, from going on a hike out of cell range without telling anyone, from buying LSD from a bartender you just met. What kind of fear is this woman talking about? Fear of not being able to pay your rent? Continue reading
special victim
“So instead I just go on and on about a single episode in a series with literally hundreds of them because that single episode explains my entire life story and sometimes you just need someone or something to blame. For the years and years of abuse, infantilizing, minimizing, belittlement, and disbelief that have carved psychological scars in me that are so deep I might never be able to fully heal from them.” Continue reading
Posted in Book Two - Mind, Setting 4
Tagged actuallyautistic, autistic, autisticwomen, disability, media, neurodivergent, real autism, stereotype
3 Comments
the real reason
So after reading yet another article about how the “wellness” (cough, puke) industry uses unregulated and non-factual claims to sell products to unsuspecting women while managing to completely ignore the reason women are searching for such things, followed by me writing fuming paragraphs in my head despite watching kittens play quasi-football, I figured perhaps I should write a blog post. Continue reading
Posted in Book Two - Mind, Setting 4
Tagged ableism, actuallyautistic, Aspergers, autism, autistic, autistic woman
3 Comments
choices
Autism consigns one to a life defined by a lack of choices in some of the most essential elements of modern existence, like employment, social group, living arrangement, and even who we want to be. We struggle to navigate the boundaries imposed by a non-autistic society, either not seeing them, or, if we see them, not understanding them. Continue reading
Posted in Setting 4
Tagged ableism, actuallyautistic, Aspergers, autism, autistic woman, choices, neurodivergent, neurotypical
4 Comments
The Glass Room
My latest blog post appears on the Neuroclastic online magazine! Click here (or below) to read it.
Posted in Book Two - Mind, Setting 3
Tagged actuallyautistic, ASD, Aspergers, autism, autistic woman, neurodivergent, neurotypical, personal story
Leave a comment
committed
So the latest hand-wringing over smartphones is that they remove the need for people to memorize things when using the GPS function for directions; that people don’t actually see and commit to memory their surroundings any more. And by people, … Continue reading
Posted in Book Two - Mind, Setting 3
Tagged actuallyautistic, anger, frustration, futility, neurotypical, signs
1 Comment