Tag Archives: doubt

how much, how little

Two days ago, my pain hit the highest spike since before the surgery.  It was no better yesterday, and because of it, for the first time since the surgery, I had to change my plans so I could go home and rest. … Continue reading

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can’t and don’t

I’m not going to sugarcoat it for you. It is what everyone says it is. If you want to know how to maintain a work-life balance, I have to tell you, it’s impossible. What I would say is you should … Continue reading

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collateral damage

I haven’t wanted to write this post. I haven’t even wanted to start this post. My head is a mess. It was so thick with pain, with foreboding, with the fear that I would sink ever deeper into the morass … Continue reading

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unsettling

I’m officially, completely unpacked. All boxes have been emptied, everything I’ve decided to keep has found a home, either here or in my storage unit, pictures are hung, and box cutters, tape, markers and tool kits are finally put away. … Continue reading

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big and small

The pain is back. Nerve ablation or no nerve ablation, my discomfort is driving hard in the wrong direction. Notwithstanding the blank spot covering the inside half of my shoulder blade, the entire rest of the area is sore and inflamed, … Continue reading

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the door

This past weekend, I received an e-mail from the rock star researcher who has been heavily recruiting me for his extremely prestigious – and formidable – lab. He suggested I attend a talk by one of his grad students concerning a … Continue reading

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incertainty

That used to be me, I thought. It was as though I was speaking of some time of my life long since gone, like childhood, not the “me” that I was up until late last year. The jogger passed me … Continue reading

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orphaned

So according to my therapist, I am still angry, I am still fighting giving up my autonomy, and I need to redefine the God in which I believe, since the one that I used to believe in doesn’t jibe with … Continue reading

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limited

I had forgotten how exhausting it is to function through pain. In particular, I had forgotten how mental exhaustion begets physical exhaustion. After this week, consider me reminded. It has been six weeks since the semester began. The first two … Continue reading

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beware of dog

“If I had a dollar for every person who suggested acupuncture to me, I wouldn’t have to work,” I hissed, as soon as the young woman had walked far enough up the driveway to be out of earshot. “Girl, you … Continue reading

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