Tag Archives: doubt

excepting expectation

Last week’s pain crisis is now behind me. I’m still quite run down, and unable to do much which either arm, but pain is no longer crowding out concrete thought. Yesterday, the surgeon examined both of my shoulders and affirmed … Continue reading

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apprehend

apprehension |ˌapriˈhenSHən| noun 1 anxiety or fear that something bad or unpleasant will happen: he felt sick with apprehension | she had some apprehensions about the filming. 2 understanding; grasp: the pure apprehension of the work of art. 3 the … Continue reading

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and for how long

The pain is no better. I won’t say that it is worse. It may be, but I don’t want to go there. At the behest of my physical therapist, I contacted the head researcher of my lab to let him … Continue reading

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how much, how little

Two days ago, my pain hit the highest spike since before the surgery.  It was no better yesterday, and because of it, for the first time since the surgery, I had to change my plans so I could go home and rest. … Continue reading

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can’t and don’t

I’m not going to sugarcoat it for you. It is what everyone says it is. If you want to know how to maintain a work-life balance, I have to tell you, it’s impossible. What I would say is you should … Continue reading

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collateral damage

I haven’t wanted to write this post. I haven’t even wanted to start this post. My head is a mess. It was so thick with pain, with foreboding, with the fear that I would sink ever deeper into the morass … Continue reading

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unsettling

I’m officially, completely unpacked. All boxes have been emptied, everything I’ve decided to keep has found a home, either here or in my storage unit, pictures are hung, and box cutters, tape, markers and tool kits are finally put away. … Continue reading

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big and small

The pain is back. Nerve ablation or no nerve ablation, my discomfort is driving hard in the wrong direction. Notwithstanding the blank spot covering the inside half of my shoulder blade, the entire rest of the area is sore and inflamed, … Continue reading

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the door

This past weekend, I received an e-mail from the rock star researcher who has been heavily recruiting me for his extremely prestigious – and formidable – lab. He suggested I attend a talk by one of his grad students concerning a … Continue reading

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incertainty

That used to be me, I thought. It was as though I was speaking of some time of my life long since gone, like childhood, not the “me” that I was up until late last year. The jogger passed me … Continue reading

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