Tag Archives: disability

what doesn’t kill me (isn’t going to work)

Surprising no one, my first application for disability was denied. In researching next steps for an appeal, I discovered that one of the things the committee considers, although not in so many words, is whether my disability will kill me. … Continue reading

Posted in Book Two - Mind, Setting 3 | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

plant your flag elsewhere

Recently, a friend tried to convince me of the validity of a new treatment for autism that, as many of these purported treatments do, lacks a plausible explanation for how it works. Nonetheless, I respect the friend and thus did … Continue reading

Posted in Book Two - Mind, Setting 3 | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

just for looks

I have been undergoing the arduous and humiliating process of applying for disability here in the U.S. for my autism. If you thought that in this day and age, there would be an established mechanism for this type of disability, … Continue reading

Posted in Book Two - Mind, Setting 2 | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

how things are

I’m in the process of uncovering the emotional underpinnings of the mechanisms I’ve internalized to disguise my autistic self. Specifically, I’m examining those I use to keep from inadvertently upsetting, insulting, or otherwise hurting the people around me. Although my … Continue reading

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see me

This past semester, my final project was a paper that explored the interface among autistic media portrayals, stereotypes, disability laws, and lived experiences. I discovered that I am not unique in the amount of effort I expend to appear neurotypical. … Continue reading

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two and one

Photo by Jenna Hamra Normally, the holiday season fills me with a sense of joy, peace, and hope. I love everything about Christmas; the decorations, the traditions, the music, and especially the Christmas story. I very much relate to the … Continue reading

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supposed

I have run out of energy. Again. Just like I did this time last year when they changed my schedule and switched my days off. Except – I don’t have that excuse this time. But I called out of work … Continue reading

Posted in Book Two - Mind, Setting 1 | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

scars

They don’t match. That was my first thought as I sat on the edge of MS Ape’s bathroom sink, my back to my reflection, peering into a make-up mirror to compare the barely-knitted slices on my left scapula to the … Continue reading

Posted in Aspect IV | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

return of the ape

I am sitting on the edge of my bed, staring at my newly-framed, 2015 diploma.  It was a gift from Momma and Poppa Ape, getting it mounted; they kept meaning to get it back to me but we always forgot when I … Continue reading

Posted in Aspect IV | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

and then this happened

I’m writing about this because both Momma Ape and my therapist have told me I must write about it. I don’t know if it belongs here or not, and posts under this heading may be moved to another blog entirely at some point. … Continue reading

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