Tag Archives: personal crisis

where god is

Posted on June 22, 2017 by

I have suddenly realized that somehow, somewhere, over the last however so many months, I have lost my faith. I used to center it in the altruism of humankind, the ability of my fellow creatures to reach outside themselves and … Continue reading →

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not so small

Posted on January 22, 2017 by

“Trace the exact path of your pain for me.” I sit on a padded exam table facing the neurologist, having passed the slew of tests to determine if the pain and numbness in my hands is due to something in … Continue reading →

Posted in loose leaves | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

come to rest

Posted on February 23, 2015 by

Even before this happened, I was a reluctant inhabitant of my physical body. I railed against its inevitable (if as yet largely imperceptible) decline, the stealthy, inexorable loss of elasticity, pigment, resilience, strength. It felt like punishment, to house a … Continue reading →

Posted in Aspect III | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

arranged

Posted on April 26, 2014 by

Pain and soreness this morning are way up from my usual, and as usual, I don’t know why. I was already on a downward trajectory by Wednesday, but despite taking it easy at physical therapy on Thursday and not having class … Continue reading →

Posted in Aspect I | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

the end of the beginning

Posted on April 21, 2014 by

Lately, I’ve found myself slipping more and more often into that nasty little place where everything is annoying and everyone is a moron. People can be so thoughtless, and my tolerance for it, normally rather generous, has been burned down … Continue reading →

Posted in Aspect I | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

fixed

Posted on April 17, 2014 by

First, I have a lot less pain today. A full day of rest and chair avoidance has presumably been good for me. Second, I am not fixed. fix |fiks| verb [ with obj. ] fixes, fixing, fixed. (1) to mend or repair, … Continue reading →

Posted in Aspect I | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

destroyed

Posted on April 16, 2014 by

Today I woke up at four o’clock in the morning, stiff and hurting. After spending an hour failing to find a comfortable position, I got out of bed. Every muscle surrounding my vacant shoulder blade felt sore and bruised, and the unmistakeable … Continue reading →

Posted in Aspect I | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

if I’m not me then who am I?

Posted on April 14, 2014 by

Yesterday morning, I caught a glimpse of myself in a sliding glass door. I couldn’t see my shoulders or face, just my shorts and legs, and for a brief moment, I didn’t recognize the legs as belonging to me. They … Continue reading →

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