Tag Archives: fear

get past

Posted on April 30, 2021 by C. M. Condo

Fear is what makes you careful. Fear is what keeps you from being alone with strange men, from going on a hike out of cell range without telling anyone, from buying LSD from a bartender you just met. What kind of fear is this woman talking about? Fear of not being able to pay your rent? Continue reading →

Posted in Setting 4 | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

not like this

Posted on April 20, 2020 by C. M. Condo

Photo by Laurent Perren on Unsplash This is not what I wanted. High-functioning autistics like me who live alone and work from home fight a constant battle against expected levels of socialization. We have to self-limit because of how exhausting … Continue reading →

Posted in Book Two - Mind, Setting 3 | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

swamped

Posted on September 20, 2018 by C. M. Condo

I was thoroughly tired of school, after getting my second bachelor’s in 2015. I was tired of how it seeped into every crack and crevice of spare time I had. I was tired of telling friends “I can’t, I have … Continue reading →

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safe

Posted on July 11, 2018 by C. M. Condo

I did not realize it until I was in my early forties, but I do not enjoy fireworks. There is nothing about the experience that is pleasant to me in any way. While others may delight in the celebratory aspect … Continue reading →

Posted in Book Two - Mind, Setting 1 | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

peach-pink

Posted on January 30, 2017 by C. M. Condo

“You know it’s dangerous for someone like you to take opiod medications.” My head was in my hands as I rocked back and forth in the chair across from the neurologist. “I know, I know…” I moaned, “…but I just can’t … Continue reading →

Posted in loose leaves | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

again

Posted on January 29, 2017 by C. M. Condo

Last night I did not sleep. The pins and needles and burning in my hands are now unchanged by any sleeping position I can discover. I tried taking nearly every medication in my night stand – insomnia, nerve pain, muscle … Continue reading →

Posted in loose leaves | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

surgereve

Posted on December 29, 2015 by C. M. Condo

Despite still being exhausted after the most challenging semester of school of my entire life, which now encompasses a full ten years total of post-secondary education, the day before my second surgery I was buzzing around like a four-year-old on … Continue reading →

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and then this happened

Posted on May 2, 2015 by C. M. Condo

I’m writing about this because both Momma Ape and my therapist have told me I must write about it. I don’t know if it belongs here or not, and posts under this heading may be moved to another blog entirely at some point. … Continue reading →

Posted in Aspect I | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

excepting expectation

Posted on April 16, 2015 by C. M. Condo

Last week’s pain crisis is now behind me. I’m still quite run down, and unable to do much which either arm, but pain is no longer crowding out concrete thought. Yesterday, the surgeon examined both of my shoulders and affirmed … Continue reading →

Posted in Aspect III | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

apprehend

Posted on April 12, 2015 by C. M. Condo

apprehension |ˌapriˈhenSHən| noun 1 anxiety or fear that something bad or unpleasant will happen: he felt sick with apprehension | she had some apprehensions about the filming. 2 understanding; grasp: the pure apprehension of the work of art. 3 the … Continue reading →

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