Tag Archives: hope

where god is

I have suddenly realized that somehow, somewhere, over the last however so many months, I have lost my faith. I used to center it in the altruism of humankind, the ability of my fellow creatures to reach outside themselves and … Continue reading

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“You know it’s dangerous for someone like you to take opiod medications.” My head was in my hands as I rocked back and forth in the chair across from the neurologist. “I know, I know…” I moaned, “…but I just can’t … Continue reading

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the door

This past weekend, I received an e-mail from the rock star researcher who has been heavily recruiting me for his extremely prestigious – and formidable – lab. He suggested I attend a talk by one of his grad students concerning a … Continue reading

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the beginning of the end

“What about under here? Did they give you a cortisone shot back here, under the scapula?” My right shoulder throbbed, sending slicing pains up into my neck. My arm was bent down and backwards in such away as to expose … Continue reading

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blues before and after (part 2)

Instead of talking about what the new specialist did yesterday afternoon, I’d rather talk about what he didn’t do. He didn’t talk down to me. He didn’t brush my symptoms aside. He didn’t see “nothing remarkable,” about my shoulder. He … Continue reading

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blues before and after (part 1)

I see a new doctor today. But any hopes I might have had about the tendon damage as a possible avenue for recovery were consummately dashed by my physical therapist this morning. She read the MRI report and said it … Continue reading

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stress and release

So, two days from now, in my enduring quest to discover all of the things in my body that don’t work right, I will undergo a post-exercise-stress blood panel. Over the last few years, I’ve gotten a lot of blood work done in … Continue reading

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fate vs. faith

I started a blog post yesterday and walked away from it after the third paragraph. It was a post about the fact that I will probably never bear children of my own. Of course this is upsetting. Few women run up … Continue reading

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tribute to Momma Ape

I’ve mentioned her a few times in this blog, so regulars know that Momma Ape has been struggling with a host of pain and mobility issues since I was a teenaged ape. But I wanted to take this Mother’s Day … Continue reading

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reach out

I hate this. I hate this undecorated life and frail body. I hate that when I try to explain to my friends what has happened to me they stare at me uncomprehending, uncertain of what the right thing is to … Continue reading

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