Tag Archives: futility

committed

Posted on September 24, 2020 by C. M. Condo

So the latest hand-wringing over smartphones is that they remove the need for people to memorize things when using the GPS function for directions; that people don’t actually see and commit to memory their surroundings any more. And by people, … Continue reading →

Posted in Book Two - Mind, Setting 3 | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

supposed

Posted on March 4, 2018 by C. M. Condo

I have run out of energy. Again. Just like I did this time last year when they changed my schedule and switched my days off. Except – I don’t have that excuse this time. But I called out of work … Continue reading →

Posted in Book Two - Mind, Setting 1 | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

can’t

Posted on April 1, 2017 by C. M. Condo

What does it mean when you say you “can’t” do something? Sometimes it is literal – I literally can’t do a handstand. But often it is more subtle, meant to impress a sort of finality despite the lack of a literal … Continue reading →

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wilderness

Posted on March 16, 2017 by C. M. Condo

“Carpal tunnel” What? “There is nothing wrong with your ulnar nerve.” The neurologist spoke in the soft, mixed British-Asian accent of highly educated students from that part of the world. “It is all median nerve. Carpal tunnel.” Never mind that … Continue reading →

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shelfless

Posted on January 13, 2016 by C. M. Condo

Last week I was so, so angry. I couldn’t stop thinking about all of the people who have taken advantage of me throughout my life, most of them men, and how my autism made me such an easy mark, and … Continue reading →

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it’s too much

Posted on May 11, 2015 by C. M. Condo

I don’t know what to write here. Words on a screen are too thin and ephemeral to fitly describe the weight and depth of what I feel inside. My loneliness, barely managed under the best of circumstances, has been flushed … Continue reading →

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orphaned

Posted on October 17, 2014 by C. M. Condo

So according to my therapist, I am still angry, I am still fighting giving up my autonomy, and I need to redefine the God in which I believe, since the one that I used to believe in doesn’t jibe with … Continue reading →

Posted in Aspect II | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

limited

Posted on October 10, 2014 by C. M. Condo

I had forgotten how exhausting it is to function through pain. In particular, I had forgotten how mental exhaustion begets physical exhaustion. After this week, consider me reminded. It has been six weeks since the semester began. The first two … Continue reading →

Posted in Aspect II | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

stasis

Posted on August 11, 2014 by C. M. Condo

I woke up this morning with the same pain I went to bed with last night. Yesterday, after a couple of hours on the beach, it was so bad that all I could do was lie on the recliner in the condo with … Continue reading →

Posted in Aspect I | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

closing in

Posted on August 1, 2014 by C. M. Condo

Almost, but not quite. That’s what this week has been. A series of discoveries that things that I thought were OK are still not right. Things I thought had been fixed were still broken. A personal life that I thought … Continue reading →

Posted in Aspect I | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment