Tag Archives: depression

not my fault

As I read more and more about my autism (for new folks, I was recently diagnosed with Asperger’s, an Autism Spectrum Disorder or ASD), I am, for the first time in my life, seeing my life experiences clearly. All of … Continue reading

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it’s too much

I don’t know what to write here. Words on a screen are too thin and ephemeral to fitly describe the weight and depth of what I feel inside. My loneliness, barely managed under the best of circumstances, has been flushed … Continue reading

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the mermaid’s choice

I can’t remember the last time I sat in a class and got absorbed in a lecture, so much that time sped by and I couldn’t believe that class was over already. I can’t remember the last time I sat … Continue reading

Posted in Aspect II | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

big and small

The pain is back. Nerve ablation or no nerve ablation, my discomfort is driving hard in the wrong direction. Notwithstanding the blank spot covering the inside half of my shoulder blade, the entire rest of the area is sore and inflamed, … Continue reading

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anergy

anergy |ˈanərjē| noun Medicine. Absence of the normal immune response to a particular antigen or allergen. “Are you still here?” I glanced in the direction of the comment and saw a lively, older woman, probably about my mother’s age, walking … Continue reading

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open letter to god

Hey there, it’s me, your favorite kicking can T.G. Ape. I know you know what’s going on with me down here, so there’s probably no point in a recap. Suffice it to say that it’s been pretty crappy, for a … Continue reading

Posted in Aspect I | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

stasis

I woke up this morning with the same pain I went to bed with last night. Yesterday, after a couple of hours on the beach, it was so bad that all I could do was lie on the recliner in the condo with … Continue reading

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wherever you go

I, and my pain, are now at the beach. Momma Ape and I drove separately from the rest of the family yesterday, leaving an hour and a half early so we could could take a few long breaks and still all … Continue reading

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closing in

Almost, but not quite. That’s what this week has been. A series of discoveries that things that I thought were OK are still not right. Things I thought had been fixed were still broken. A personal life that I thought … Continue reading

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blues before and after (part 2)

Instead of talking about what the new specialist did yesterday afternoon, I’d rather talk about what he didn’t do. He didn’t talk down to me. He didn’t brush my symptoms aside. He didn’t see “nothing remarkable,” about my shoulder. He … Continue reading

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