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Tag Archives: depression
peach-pink
“You know it’s dangerous for someone like you to take opiod medications.” My head was in my hands as I rocked back and forth in the chair across from the neurologist. “I know, I know…” I moaned, “…but I just can’t … Continue reading
here
The pain is still here. It is a different kind of pain, responsible to different nerves, reducible by certain shoulder positions, exacerbated by many more others. It is accompanied by numbness in my fingers and concomitant tingling followed on its … Continue reading
not my fault
As I read more and more about my autism (for new folks, I was recently diagnosed with Asperger’s, an Autism Spectrum Disorder or ASD), I am, for the first time in my life, seeing my life experiences clearly. All of … Continue reading
Posted in Aspect I
Tagged anger, ASD, depression, doubt, effort, emotional reaction, good intentions
1 Comment
it’s too much
I don’t know what to write here. Words on a screen are too thin and ephemeral to fitly describe the weight and depth of what I feel inside. My loneliness, barely managed under the best of circumstances, has been flushed … Continue reading
the mermaid’s choice
I can’t remember the last time I sat in a class and got absorbed in a lecture, so much that time sped by and I couldn’t believe that class was over already. I can’t remember the last time I sat … Continue reading
big and small
The pain is back. Nerve ablation or no nerve ablation, my discomfort is driving hard in the wrong direction. Notwithstanding the blank spot covering the inside half of my shoulder blade, the entire rest of the area is sore and inflamed, … Continue reading
anergy
anergy |ˈanərjē| noun Medicine. Absence of the normal immune response to a particular antigen or allergen. “Are you still here?” I glanced in the direction of the comment and saw a lively, older woman, probably about my mother’s age, walking … Continue reading
open letter to god
Hey there, it’s me, your favorite kicking can T.G. Ape. I know you know what’s going on with me down here, so there’s probably no point in a recap. Suffice it to say that it’s been pretty crappy, for a … Continue reading
stasis
I woke up this morning with the same pain I went to bed with last night. Yesterday, after a couple of hours on the beach, it was so bad that all I could do was lie on the recliner in the condo with … Continue reading
wherever you go
I, and my pain, are now at the beach. Momma Ape and I drove separately from the rest of the family yesterday, leaving an hour and a half early so we could could take a few long breaks and still all … Continue reading
Posted in Aspect I
Tagged chronic pain, coping, depression, life change, self loathing
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