Tag Archives: disability

I’m tired of being autistic

Posted on December 18, 2025 by C. M. Condo

I know this won’t increase my popularity in the autism community, but I’ve been thinking it for a while now, so I might as well come out and say it: I am tired of being autistic. Being autistic in our painfully neurotypical world is exhausting. Continue reading →

Posted in Setting 4 | Tagged actuallyautistic, ASD, Aspergers, autistic burnout, burnout, disability, masking | Leave a comment

autism? doesn’t matter. again.

Posted on March 13, 2025 by C. M. Condo

Some people just don’t get it, and autistics are forced to accommodate them–instead of the other way around I’ve been transferred to a different veterinary facility while waiting for the new doctor’s hiring to be completed at my home clinic. … Continue reading →

Posted in Aspect IV | Tagged actuallyautistic, anger, ASD, autism, career, disability, doubt, job, work | 2 Comments

laziness, autism version

Posted on February 12, 2025 by C. M. Condo

A popular news magazine just published an article on child psychopathy and what is being done to treat it. Studies had revealed differences in these children’s brain development as young as three or four years old. As I was a … Continue reading →

Posted in Aspect IV | Tagged actuallyautistic, ASD, Aspergers, autism, autistic, disability, masking, mental-health, neurodiversity, self-doubt | 1 Comment

restraint

Posted on May 23, 2024 by C. M. Condo

Autistic people are experts on what is good for them personally. What is needed, however, is not necessarily what non-autistics would expect. But when I do not have enough spoons to deal with another human, I am way past the point of having enough to explain why. Continue reading →

Posted in Book Two - Mind, Setting 4 | Tagged actuallyautistic, ASD, autism, autistic, autisticburnout, burnout, coping, disability, exhaustion, mental-health, neurodiversity, overwhelmed, sensory, solitude | 2 Comments

autism and trauma: betrayal trauma

Posted on March 27, 2024 by C. M. Condo

As bad as betrayal traumas are, they can be much worse for autistics. Since most of us endured constant negative feedback growing up, teaching us that our instincts in any given situation are always wrong and any mistreatment we receive are our own faults. If we are being treated poorly, we think, we must deserve it. Continue reading →

Posted in Book Two - Mind, Setting 4 | Tagged actuallyautistic, Aspergers, autism, betrayal trauma, disability, relationships, Trauma | 1 Comment

Crash the lab

Posted on October 10, 2021 by C. M. Condo

Three semesters of grad school via Zoom have wrecked me. Class discussions and impromptu tangents are the fun part of grad school. They balance out the herculean and thankless labor one must otherwise expend reading gross amounts of peer-reviewed literature and pulling together a research project that will culminate in a thesis or dissertation, otherwise known as the longest and most harrowing paper you will ever write in your entire life. Continue reading →

Posted in Book Two - Mind, Setting 4 | Tagged actuallyautistic, Aspergers, autism, autistic woman, burnout, disability, doubt | 1 Comment

special victim

Posted on March 3, 2021 by C. M. Condo

“So instead I just go on and on about a single episode in a series with literally hundreds of them because that single episode explains my entire life story and sometimes you just need someone or something to blame. For the years and years of abuse, infantilizing, minimizing, belittlement, and disbelief that have carved psychological scars in me that are so deep I might never be able to fully heal from them.” Continue reading →

Posted in Book Two - Mind, Setting 4 | Tagged actuallyautistic, autistic, autisticwomen, disability, media, neurodivergent, real autism, stereotype | 3 Comments

what doesn’t kill me (isn’t going to work)

Posted on May 14, 2020 by C. M. Condo

Surprising no one, my first application for disability was denied. In researching next steps for an appeal, I discovered that one of the things the committee considers, although not in so many words, is whether my disability will kill me. … Continue reading →

Posted in Book Two - Mind, Setting 3 | Tagged actuallyautistic, anger, appearance, Aspergers, autism, disability | 3 Comments

plant your flag elsewhere

Posted on March 8, 2020 by C. M. Condo

Recently, a friend tried to convince me of the validity of a new treatment for autism that, as many of these purported treatments do, lacks a plausible explanation for how it works. Nonetheless, I respect the friend and thus did … Continue reading →

Posted in Book Two - Mind, Setting 3 | Tagged actuallyautistic, Aspergers, autism, different, disability, good intentions | 1 Comment

just for looks

Posted on February 15, 2020 by C. M. Condo

I have been undergoing the arduous and humiliating process of applying for disability here in the U.S. for my autism. If you thought that in this day and age, there would be an established mechanism for this type of disability, … Continue reading →

Posted in Book Two - Mind, Setting 2 | Tagged actuallyautistic, anger, ASD, Aspergers, autism, disability | 4 Comments