Category Archives: Book One – Body

Chronic Pain

apprehend

Posted on April 12, 2015 by C. M. Condo

apprehension |ˌapriˈhenSHən| noun 1 anxiety or fear that something bad or unpleasant will happen: he felt sick with apprehension | she had some apprehensions about the filming. 2 understanding; grasp: the pure apprehension of the work of art. 3 the … Continue reading →

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and for how long

Posted on April 10, 2015 by C. M. Condo

The pain is no better. I won’t say that it is worse. It may be, but I don’t want to go there. At the behest of my physical therapist, I contacted the head researcher of my lab to let him … Continue reading →

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how much, how little

Posted on April 9, 2015 by C. M. Condo

Two days ago, my pain hit the highest spike since before the surgery.  It was no better yesterday, and because of it, for the first time since the surgery, I had to change my plans so I could go home and rest. … Continue reading →

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can’t and don’t

Posted on April 3, 2015 by C. M. Condo

I’m not going to sugarcoat it for you. It is what everyone says it is. If you want to know how to maintain a work-life balance, I have to tell you, it’s impossible. What I would say is you should … Continue reading →

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emotional

Posted on March 17, 2015 by C. M. Condo

“Bachelor of Arts or Sciences?” “Sciences.” “How tall are you?” “5’3”.” The man frowned at me. “You look taller than that.” “Really?” My posture has improved, but it seems unlikely I’ve gotten a whole inch out of it. (Or do … Continue reading →

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come to rest

Posted on February 23, 2015 by C. M. Condo

Even before this happened, I was a reluctant inhabitant of my physical body. I railed against its inevitable (if as yet largely imperceptible) decline, the stealthy, inexorable loss of elasticity, pigment, resilience, strength. It felt like punishment, to house a … Continue reading →

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not done

Posted on February 16, 2015 by C. M. Condo

It hasn’t been a good week. The tidal surge of adrenaline borne out of the pure joy at being released from constant, immobilizing pain has receded. I have come back down to earth to find my shoulder still heavily damaged and disturbingly weak. … Continue reading →

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learning, fast and slow

Posted on February 9, 2015 by C. M. Condo

Well, that didn’t take long. Even though the surgery was less than a month ago, I was back in full-on, Type-A Ape mode in the lab last week, happily doing whatever was asked of me, including a generous complement of … Continue reading →

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short-cut

Posted on February 2, 2015 by C. M. Condo

“Furious. In-frigging-sane. I want to punish somebody; I want to make somebody feel as bad as felt, hurt as much as I hurt.” “Well, of course you feel that way,” my mentor replied. “You want to take it out on … Continue reading →

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collateral damage

Posted on January 24, 2015 by C. M. Condo

I haven’t wanted to write this post. I haven’t even wanted to start this post. My head is a mess. It was so thick with pain, with foreboding, with the fear that I would sink ever deeper into the morass … Continue reading →

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