Author Archives: C. M. Condo

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About C. M. Condo

I am a late-diagnosed, high-functioning autistic living with chronic pain. I started this blog in March of 2014 as a way to try to process what was happening to me. It is my hope that by sharing it with you, we can both gain something, or at least learn something, from my experience.

can’t and don’t

Posted on April 3, 2015 by C. M. Condo

I’m not going to sugarcoat it for you. It is what everyone says it is. If you want to know how to maintain a work-life balance, I have to tell you, it’s impossible. What I would say is you should … Continue reading →

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emotional

Posted on March 17, 2015 by C. M. Condo

“Bachelor of Arts or Sciences?” “Sciences.” “How tall are you?” “5’3”.” The man frowned at me. “You look taller than that.” “Really?” My posture has improved, but it seems unlikely I’ve gotten a whole inch out of it. (Or do … Continue reading →

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come to rest

Posted on February 23, 2015 by C. M. Condo

Even before this happened, I was a reluctant inhabitant of my physical body. I railed against its inevitable (if as yet largely imperceptible) decline, the stealthy, inexorable loss of elasticity, pigment, resilience, strength. It felt like punishment, to house a … Continue reading →

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not done

Posted on February 16, 2015 by C. M. Condo

It hasn’t been a good week. The tidal surge of adrenaline borne out of the pure joy at being released from constant, immobilizing pain has receded. I have come back down to earth to find my shoulder still heavily damaged and disturbingly weak. … Continue reading →

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learning, fast and slow

Posted on February 9, 2015 by C. M. Condo

Well, that didn’t take long. Even though the surgery was less than a month ago, I was back in full-on, Type-A Ape mode in the lab last week, happily doing whatever was asked of me, including a generous complement of … Continue reading →

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short-cut

Posted on February 2, 2015 by C. M. Condo

“Furious. In-frigging-sane. I want to punish somebody; I want to make somebody feel as bad as felt, hurt as much as I hurt.” “Well, of course you feel that way,” my mentor replied. “You want to take it out on … Continue reading →

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collateral damage

Posted on January 24, 2015 by C. M. Condo

I haven’t wanted to write this post. I haven’t even wanted to start this post. My head is a mess. It was so thick with pain, with foreboding, with the fear that I would sink ever deeper into the morass … Continue reading →

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and so

Posted on January 19, 2015 by C. M. Condo

My eyes opened. “Hi honey, welcome back,” the anesthetist’s nurse was standing to my left. I looked at the clock; it was 11:45 AM. The last thing I remember was being wheeled towards the surgery suite at 9:35. I recall … Continue reading →

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happening

Posted on January 12, 2015 by C. M. Condo

My surgery is scheduled for four days from now. I spent my spare post-holiday hours drilling down on the research, gathering what few common factors I could glean from the various case studies. I brought my resulting bevy of questions in for … Continue reading →

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unsettling

Posted on January 3, 2015 by C. M. Condo

I’m officially, completely unpacked. All boxes have been emptied, everything I’ve decided to keep has found a home, either here or in my storage unit, pictures are hung, and box cutters, tape, markers and tool kits are finally put away. … Continue reading →

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