Author Archives: C. M. Condo

Unknown's avatar

About C. M. Condo

I am a late-diagnosed, high-functioning autistic living with chronic pain. I started this blog in March of 2014 as a way to try to process what was happening to me. It is my hope that by sharing it with you, we can both gain something, or at least learn something, from my experience.

if I’m not me then who am I?

Posted on April 14, 2014 by C. M. Condo

Yesterday morning, I caught a glimpse of myself in a sliding glass door. I couldn’t see my shoulders or face, just my shorts and legs, and for a brief moment, I didn’t recognize the legs as belonging to me. They … Continue reading →

Posted in Aspect I | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

stop my life I want to get off

Posted on April 11, 2014 by C. M. Condo

You’d think I finally might have come around to the idea that my body has some limitations. Laid low by a painful, crippling nerve injury involving my neck and right shoulder, I’ve had plenty of time to reflect on the months leading up to it. … Continue reading →

Posted in Aspect I | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

voices in my head

Posted on April 7, 2014 by C. M. Condo

Yesterday, I reluctantly bowed out of my last remaining extracurricular activity, a music group I’ve participated in since before this all started. Intellectually, I know it was the right and mature thing to do. But I’ve slept so little in … Continue reading →

Posted in Aspect I | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

hope

Posted on April 6, 2014 by C. M. Condo

Hope is everywhere. If we gave it form and substance it would stifle us, there is so much of it. It blooms in every conversation I have about my condition. The nerve ablation has created an entire morass of it, … Continue reading →

Posted in Aspect I | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

concrete and clay

Posted on April 5, 2014 by C. M. Condo

Soft, warm clay. That’s what I have, under my right scapula, where a knot of tendons and muscles used to reside. A fist-sized area of unresponsive, but still living, tissue. It’s not simply that I don’t have pain under my … Continue reading →

Posted in Aspect I | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

punc’d

Posted on April 4, 2014 by C. M. Condo

People need to stop – really, really, stop – asking me if I’ve tried acupuncture. If I had a nickel for every person who, etc., etc. Acupuncture, as well as reiki, reflexology, chakra alignment, and all other forms of “energy” … Continue reading →

Posted in Aspect I | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

quiet

Posted on April 3, 2014 by C. M. Condo

I awoke this afternoon from a midday nap to total quiet. It was the kind of quiet that is so empty, you can hear the high-pitched, whispered whine that your ears register when nothing louder than air bends the hairs in … Continue reading →

Posted in Aspect I | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

ablate, ablated, ablation

Posted on April 3, 2014 by C. M. Condo

ablation |əˈblāSHən|  noun.  The removal of material from the surface of an object by vaporization, chipping, or other erosive processes. In medicine, the surgical removal of body tissue. Today, I am going in for a nerve ablation. Interestingly, despite what … Continue reading →

Posted in Aspect I | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

imaginary conversation with my local pharmacy

Posted on April 2, 2014 by C. M. Condo

Hi there. My name is T.G. Ape. I suffer from chronic pain. You probably know me – I’m on a first name basis with most of the pharmacists and staff. Yep, that’s right, 0104, that’s me. I’ve been picking up … Continue reading →

Posted in Aspect I | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

how bad is it, really?

Posted on April 1, 2014 by C. M. Condo

It’s hard to imagine what it’s like to be in pain all of the time before it happens. Having a parent suffering from chronic pain, I tried, many times, and failed. It was as though my mind was unwilling to … Continue reading →

Posted in Aspect I | Tagged , | 1 Comment