Author Archives: C. M. Condo

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About C. M. Condo

I am a late-diagnosed, high-functioning autistic living with chronic pain. I started this blog in March of 2014 as a way to try to process what was happening to me. It is my hope that by sharing it with you, we can both gain something, or at least learn something, from my experience.

December 24, 2014

Posted on December 26, 2014 by C. M. Condo

It’s almost midnight on December 24th. I’m in the new apartment, and about 75% unpacked. It took ten friends eight hours over two days to pack my things for transport. Despite an aptitude for number-crunching, I successfully labored under the … Continue reading →

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terms

Posted on December 12, 2014 by C. M. Condo

I have a new most hated phrase. It is “living life on your own terms.” It’s always touted as this thing to aspire to, as though it takes some special strength or perseverance to achieve it. As though it is something to … Continue reading →

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the mermaid’s choice

Posted on December 7, 2014 by C. M. Condo

I can’t remember the last time I sat in a class and got absorbed in a lecture, so much that time sped by and I couldn’t believe that class was over already. I can’t remember the last time I sat … Continue reading →

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big and small

Posted on December 5, 2014 by C. M. Condo

The pain is back. Nerve ablation or no nerve ablation, my discomfort is driving hard in the wrong direction. Notwithstanding the blank spot covering the inside half of my shoulder blade, the entire rest of the area is sore and inflamed, … Continue reading →

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the door

Posted on November 28, 2014 by C. M. Condo

This past weekend, I received an e-mail from the rock star researcher who has been heavily recruiting me for his extremely prestigious – and formidable – lab. He suggested I attend a talk by one of his grad students concerning a … Continue reading →

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to try is not to do

Posted on November 22, 2014 by C. M. Condo

It’s a little after 5:00 AM. I’m up because I want to be, though, not because I have to be, although as soon as the wake-up light nudged me from a disturbing dream in which I kept running in and … Continue reading →

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anergy

Posted on November 14, 2014 by C. M. Condo

anergy |ˈanərjē| noun Medicine. Absence of the normal immune response to a particular antigen or allergen. “Are you still here?” I glanced in the direction of the comment and saw a lively, older woman, probably about my mother’s age, walking … Continue reading →

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incertainty

Posted on November 7, 2014 by C. M. Condo

That used to be me, I thought. It was as though I was speaking of some time of my life long since gone, like childhood, not the “me” that I was up until late last year. The jogger passed me … Continue reading →

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says who

Posted on October 31, 2014 by C. M. Condo

Saturday morning, I went to the drugstore to pick up a refill for one of my pain medications, only to discover that there weren’t any refills left on it. This particular medication is the linchpin of the chemical arrangement that … Continue reading →

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anniversary

Posted on October 24, 2014 by C. M. Condo

October 21. The date is emblazoned on my memory as though it were carved and backlit. Today is October 21. Exactly one year ago, today, I woke up in so much pain I could barely breathe. Exactly one year ago, … Continue reading →

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