Author Archives: C. M. Condo

About C. M. Condo

I am a late-diagnosed, high-functioning autistic living with chronic pain. I started this blog in March of 2014 as a way to try to process what was happening to me. It is my hope that by sharing it with you, we can both gain something, or at least learn something, from my experience.

I’m tired of being autistic

Posted on December 18, 2025 by C. M. Condo

I know this won’t increase my popularity in the autism community, but I’ve been thinking it for a while now, so I might as well come out and say it: I am tired of being autistic. Being autistic in our painfully neurotypical world is exhausting. Continue reading →

Posted in Setting 4 | Tagged actuallyautistic, ASD, Aspergers, autistic burnout, burnout, disability, masking | Leave a comment

the trouble with [autistic] tone

Posted on November 10, 2025 by C. M. Condo

Tone of voice is the one piece of neurotypical communication that autistics can’t duplicate. We overact trying to mimic it, but we only know if it worked based on someone’s reaction. We can barely hear it in others, and never in ourselves. For me, an autistic woman, it is the most difficult apart of my disguise. Continue reading →

Posted in Book Two - Mind, Setting 4 | Tagged actuallyautistic, ASD, Aspergers, autism, autistic, masking, tone | 1 Comment

Is it autism fatigue… or something else?

Posted on June 14, 2025 by C. M. Condo

Precious few believed me when I said my body wasn’t right, that I wasn’t supposed to be like this. Doctors blamed it on my medications, my hormones, vitamins, diet, my pillow, exercising, not exercising, all couched with the suspicion that I was exaggerating or making it up. What’s worse is on some level, I believed them. Continue reading →

Posted in Book Two - Mind, Setting 4 | Tagged actuallyautistic, ASD, Aspergers, autism, autistic, autistic burnout, burnout, fatigue, mental-health, neurodiversity, self doubt | Leave a comment

autism? doesn’t matter. again.

Posted on March 13, 2025 by C. M. Condo

Some people just don’t get it, and autistics are forced to accommodate them–instead of the other way around I’ve been transferred to a different veterinary facility while waiting for the new doctor’s hiring to be completed at my home clinic. … Continue reading →

Posted in Aspect IV | Tagged actuallyautistic, anger, ASD, autism, career, disability, doubt, job, work | 2 Comments

My new book is now available on Amazon!

Posted on March 2, 2025 by C. M. Condo

this great ape – essays on autism by a late-diagnosed autistic woman Click here to see on Amazon.com (USA)

Posted in Aspect IV | Tagged actuallyautistic, ASD, Asperger's, Aspergers, autism, autistic woman, late diagnosed | Leave a comment

laziness, autism version

Posted on February 12, 2025 by C. M. Condo

A popular news magazine just published an article on child psychopathy and what is being done to treat it. Studies had revealed differences in these children’s brain development as young as three or four years old. As I was a … Continue reading →

Posted in Aspect IV | Tagged actuallyautistic, ASD, Aspergers, autism, autistic, disability, masking, mental-health, neurodiversity, self-doubt | 1 Comment

Aspergers-like

Posted on January 4, 2025 by C. M. Condo

This is not far off from those ridiculous lists of jobs that people on the spectrum should be good at, based on stereotypical tendencies. Such tendencies are just trimmings of our autism and do not give any idea what an autistic’s life is really like. Inevitably, the people who make these lists are not autistic. Continue reading →

Posted in Book Two - Mind, Setting 4 | Tagged actuallyautistic, animals, ASD, Aspergers, autism, autistic, career, neurodiversity, sensitivity, sensory | Leave a comment

doctors, autism, anxiety & assumptions

Posted on December 26, 2024 by C. M. Condo

The word “autism” never crossed the doctor’s lips. He didn’t even argue about it; he just acted as if it didn’t exist. Continue reading →

Posted in Book Two - Mind, Setting 4 | Tagged actuallyautistic, ASD, Aspergers, assumption, autism, autistic, doubt, fatigue, medication, mental-health, neurodiversity | 3 Comments

restraint

Posted on May 23, 2024 by C. M. Condo

Autistic people are experts on what is good for them personally. What is needed, however, is not necessarily what non-autistics would expect. But when I do not have enough spoons to deal with another human, I am way past the point of having enough to explain why. Continue reading →

Posted in Book Two - Mind, Setting 4 | Tagged actuallyautistic, ASD, autism, autistic, autisticburnout, burnout, coping, disability, exhaustion, mental-health, neurodiversity, overwhelmed, sensory, solitude | 2 Comments

alternates

Posted on May 1, 2024 by C. M. Condo

There might be a version, or maybe several versions, of me that had different experiences. I don’t need to slide over onto (into?) one of those alternate planes of existence to access the possibility that I could be mentally healthier and happier than I am now. Continue reading →

Posted in Setting 4 | Tagged actuallyautistic, Aspergers, autism, Trauma | Leave a comment