you

You. Yes, you. I am talking about you. You can’t be surprised I am talking about you, since it’s always all about you, anyway. As long as you feel good, as long as you get what you want when you want it, as long as no one is threatening your assurance of entitlement and superiority, that you. The you who just told me to fuck off and hung up on me because the overburdened veterinary emergency room whose services you claimed to be so grateful for took “too long” to discharge your pet to you. You who when asked to participate in research that would benefit autistics told me to fuck off because it involved admitting that someone other than you might be the smartest person in the room.

You who slammed on your horn because I didn’t respond to the green light soon enough. You who threw things at the door of the hospital because you didn’t pay attention to what we explained about COVID procedures and that you would have to wait outside. You who let your pet eat your drugs and then complained about the three hour wait and $1000 it would cost to treat said pet and insisted that there were no drugs around your pet.

You who screamed and cussed out the bank teller. The fast food clerk. The airline scheduler. The insurance company. At the people whose lives suck just as much as yours, if not more. Who are getting paid a sub-living wage for more work on top of having to deal with tons and tons and I mean TONS of people just like you. You think you are special. You think that we are inconveniencing you because we can, not because we have to. You think that people think you are a stupid and a sucker and you are going to TEACH THEM A LESSON.

As if you were the person to teach it. As if you knew who it was that thought that about you, because it wasn’t us, the overworked underpaid service people you feel like you are entitled, no OBLIGATED to inform that you are not going to take our crap. It was people who have something to gain by keeping you as outraged as possible. But that couldn’t possibly true because you would notice, you think. Your eyes are open. You can’t be manipulated. Shame on me for thinking so. You wouldn’t let people take advantage of you. Not anyone. You are sure that you know everything there is to know about everything, and that whatever you think about something is what it really is.

That’s what they are telling you, the very people who are, in fact, taking advantage of you, just to weaponize you against people who have no choice but to smile while being shit on by people like you and have to apologize for the shit that isn’t even their shit, because you can dump your shit wherever you want. Who live in the same world as you but don’t have the dubious luxury of being an asshole about it because assholes like you will make our lives a living hell because you, YOU, are the only important person in the room. In the building. On the planet.

You. Why do you get to be rude? Who decided that you, just you, were special enough to not have to play by the rules? Who told you that the world would be a better place if you acted like a child in enough ways for enough days? What makes you think that you are the only one in pain? How did you come to the conclusion that anyone who isn’t like you must be plotting against you, you, of all people, you, who DESERVE better, as though everyone didn’t deserve better, not just you?

You know exactly what I mean. You know when it happened. You decided that you had had enough and anyone who wasn’t helping you clearly had some ulterior motive, was part of the massive plot to keep you from getting everything you are entitled to. You had HAD ENOUGH.

Listen, you. We’ve ALL had enough. Life sucks for EVERYONE, not just you. You can be angry. I’m angry. We’re all angry. But don’t confuse anger with being rude. With being mean. With being selfish. Because you can be angry and still be nice to people. You just choose not to because you think you shouldn’t have to. Because you are special. Because you are sure that someone else is getting something you’re not getting and you want to make sure that the only person who gets special treatment is you and if you even think, not even know, even only barely suspect, with no evidence, that someone might be getting more than you, you will spew loud and self-important waste on all of the people who arranged for that person getting whatever it is that you are sure they are getting and you are not getting and remind everyone that you, and only you, are the person who should get things.

Because it is always, always and only, always about you.

About C. M. Condo

I am a late-diagnosed, high-functioning autistic living with chronic pain. I started this blog in March of 2014 as a way to try to process what was happening to me. It is my hope that by sharing it with you, we can both gain something, or at least learn something, from my experience.
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